I know i might sound stupid to some but here it goes, if a women gets pregnant at 35yrs old and has it when she turns 36 then when the child is around 6-7 years old would she have enough energy to keep up with a child without anyones help? or when he/she is 15 and rebellious would she be able to control?
Why is a teenager dammed when she gets pregnant, but when an older women gets pregnant she is praised? Dosent a teenager have more energy to keep up and raise a child better? Why is it assumed an older women will be a better a mother than someone who is younger?
Why do women wait soo long?
PS. Im not old and im not a teenager, im child free and also planned to have them when im way older.
im 20yrs old!
I wanted to ask because i see mothers who are +30 and do not take care of their children than those who ive seen who had their child at 15/16yrs old.
OK. To those who say "they are more educated" what makes you think someone who got knocked up wont get educated?
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
I don’t understand that. I had my son when I was 15, and people always judged and was like omg you’re too young, and they are always talking crap. I am 17 now and they still say that. You know they make people feel bad. I used to feel bad but whatever I don’t care anymore. I am a way better mom than anyone that’s whatever age can be. I have so much energy to run around with my son.
I guess it’s because we are still young, and still consider as kids, and there old. They could be drug addicts or strippers, and young girls could be respectful and hard working but just because were younger we look bad, and they look good. I don’t understand the world but I guess I never will. But it is another story if young girls are having kids just to throw them away and mistreat them, then that’s considered bad. I don’t think that people should talk crap to me just because i am young. My son has everything in the world, and he has many loves.
Older women never take care pf there kids, they always have nannies, and maids to do everything here always working and going out. They don’t have enough energy. I just guess it’s because there older than younger girls.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Because most teenagers can’t take care of their kids financially, if not emotionally.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
hahahahaha. Yeah, you do sound "stupid". 30 – 40 something year old people have LOTS of energy. Besides, energy is not the topic of concern when it comes to older parents vs younger parents. As a teenager, most kids aren’t capable of financially, emotionally and psychologically caring for another human being. That’s not the case (generally speaking) for a woman in her 30′s. Also, a stable relationship comes into play.
When it comes to older/younger parents, that’s just a personal preference. After I was married, we started our family while we were still young (in our 20′s), while other married couples wait until they are older. Its just a personal preference, that’s all.
**On a side note: I worked in retirement and nursing homes for several years. I’ve met 75 -90 year old men and women that could run circles around you. Its ignorant to say that energy levels are based solely on age.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
its not wrong for either…it depends on the person. not all teenagers are the same and neither are all 35 year olds so you cant say its right or wrong just based on age. there are alot of other factors that play into being a good parent.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
just because ur in ur 30 does not mean ur at deaths door and u cant rasie a child. Please woman people in there 60′s r still as good at they were in there 40′s. A woman who was 30 is a ADULT and can have sex and can have a child if they please. U r like saying 30 is old and u should just throw in the belt and get rdy to die. Grow up!
EDIT no matter where u go or look there is always going to be mothers out there who dont take care of there child 30 or 15 it does not matter…It takes a strong woman to raise a kid and be a good mom. It has nothing to do with age when it comes to being a good mom. And to jenniferr s hunny u been watching way to much tv not all moms that r 30 have nannys that we pawn r kids off too. U r saying when u turn 30 u will be the same way. Think before u speak hun! I have friends of all ages who r great moms and dont have nannys lol and i have seen some crappy moms of all ages!
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Because teenager hardly has enough money to support the baby, 30+years old woman usually has career, money, etc… Also, teenager might rather to go out and party then stay home for the next 10 years of her life changing diapers and feeding a baby. Older women passed that stage and is ready to settle down.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
THEY ARE NOT LOOKED DOWN UPON BECAUSE OF THEIR ENERGY LEVEL SILLY GIRL.. THEY ARE BECAUSE AS A TEENAGER U ARE NOT EMOTIONALLY, OR FINANCIALLY READY FOR A CHILD… A TEENAGER SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL, AND TRYING TO GRADUATE.. A 30+ WOMAN IS ALREADY SET IN HER WAYS.. AND 30 IS NOT OLD AT ALL.. AND EVEN WOMEN IN THEIR 40′S AND 50′S GET AROUND GREAT WITH THEIR KIDS IF THEY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES…. PEOPLE DONT HAVE CHILDREN BASED OIN THEIR ENERGY LEVELS.. LOL…
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
It is not because of the amount of energy a person has that makes them a better parent, it is the patience. A teanage does not have the patience needed to take care of a child and they are not mature enough, they have not been through their parting phase and ready to settle down as something in thier 30′s is.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
so that they can have financial security and then can upbring their child better….
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
i’d rather have a mother who’s 45+ who’s financially and emotionally probably a little more mature, than a 15 year old mother who hasn’t even begun the realities of life teaching me stuff….emotionally and financially…immature.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
There is a column running about this in Canada’s Sun Media newspapers today. The essence of the article is that it is very disturbing that a lot of today’s teenagers do not see becoming pregnant in the teenage years as a major problem.
If you don’t know the answers to these questions now, you will when you get older. Wisdom and knowledge come with time (not always – there are some people who just never learn from life or their own mistakes). Just having physical energy does not make for a good parent.
http://www.winnipegsun.com/Lifestyle/2008/01/24/4790560-sun.html
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
I don’t think that it is the matter of "energy" that concerns people….It is more likely that an older women is more financially ane emotionally stable…just because you are a 40 yr old woman doesn’t make you an old women and mean that you are out of energy. My mom had me when she was 38 and she has been the greatest mother. A teenager is not able to provide for her child without assistance of other people, and I don’t think that older, unwed women are necessarily praised when they become pregnant.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
an older person is likely married and tried to give birth. is going to sacrifice their life for the child. give up their personal wants and focus on the child. put the child first. they are probably very mature and responsible and alert. they can probably multi task very well, have their own home, career, etc. i know i wouldn’t have wanted to be raised by a kid for a mom in g-ma’s home! my parents provided me with a wonderful life, camping, road trips, girl scouts, piano, basketball, sleepovers, all the traditions at Easter and CHRISTmas, etc. It was wonderful! They also shouldn’t be hanging out with friends, bars, alcohol, etc. and have their head screwed on strait.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Because the teenager is a child and the 35 year old woman is an adult. There is no reason that a 35 year old woman won’t be able to keep up with her child when he/she is 15. Besides, lots (not all, but lots) of teenagers who have babies end up letting their mother’s (who are probably at least 35) raise their kids anyway, so what’s the difference? There is nothing wrong with a woman waiting until she is financially and emotionally ready to have a child.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Because teenagers are emotionally and financially ill-equipped to deal with raising a child, rarely have a supportive and mature partner and rely on the kindness of the parents and society to raise their kid, that’s why. Picture a world in which everyone delayed having children until they were at least 30, had gone through their first marriage, gotten through experimenting with booze, drugs, driving too fast, body piercings, etc, etc. You can’t convince me that all unemployed those young people I see in 7-11′s every morning getting their cigarrettes and Red Bulls for breakfast with babies in tow are good parents.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
I wouldn’t damn a teenager just because she got pregnant. That’s just stupid. However, a teenager usually isn’t ready to be a parent because she hasn’t had much life experience herself. She needs to grow and mature. You have heard the phrase"babies having babies". Sometimes that’s the truth. When a girl learns how to nurture, and take care of her own life, perhaps even having to earn a living, willing to go without so her child can have, not mind missing out on the fun her friends are having because they aren’t tied down to a child, then she may be ready to have kids. A 30 year old woman on the other hand, has had time to experience things in life. She has (hopefully) done a lot of things on her "to do list" in life and is ready to pass down the knowledge and love she has inside her. Having the energy to raise a child is something that not only teenagers have. Trust me. When you have a child, you find the energy in love. No, just because a woman is older doesn’t always make her a good mother. But it usually makes her a little smarter and more able to provide a more stable life for the child. Not saying this is always the case, we see differently on the news every day. But for the biggest percentage, older is better. Hope I haven’t offended you in any way.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
You know why??older women are emotionally and financially stable as well as teenagers are not most of them are irresponsible , and sweety i beg to disagree 30-40′S age aint nothin but a number ,theres a lot of middle aged women who are very strong compare to teenagers were not talking about energy only here ok
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
A woman who is 30+ is more likely to be in a stable relationship, have a good job and the patience to raise and support a child than a teenager does.
Teenagers and even people in their early 20s are known to be selfish and it can be hard for them to put the needs of their child before their wants. Teens can be short tempered, irresponsible and immature. Plus, they are still in school and without help will have a hard time completing school and possibly college.
You notice the majority of people on welfare are in their teens and 20s, not usually their 30s. Some women wait to be secure in life and not everyone is ready to settle down to a family till they are that age.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Well i think its all about where you are in life. . . As a teenager your seen as still immature and barely able to take care of yourself, which not all teenagers are. When you think of teenager you think of still in school no real job and confused about the future, again, not true to all teenagers. I think that a teenager might have more energy to keep up with a child but where does the motivation come from, being that its usually not a planned pregnancy nor is it something you are always thrilled about, sometimes keeping the baby is the only choice they think they have and therefore neglect the baby and blame it for "having to grow up so quick" and "ruining their life" which again is not true with all teenage parents.
When you think of a woman who is 35 years old and has a baby the first thing that pops to your mind is – married, good job, and ready for a baby – which isnt always the case. But it is the first thing that will pop into a persons mind. I mean as for having the energy to keep up with a young child when by the time they’re 5 or 6 yrs old they will be forty i guess that depends on each individual parent. I guess people also see the 35 yr old as financially stable, and ready for whats to come being that they have had life experience.
Im 19 yrs old and im expecting my first, that throws me in the teen pregnancy catergory. But I dont see myself as being damned or my life as being over. I graduated highschool and have a full time decent paying job. Sometimes thats better than some of the 35 yr olds out there.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Few teenagers are mentally prepared to cope with raising a baby. They are not even really adults yet themselves. A 30+ woman is settled down, should still be physically able unless something is wrong with her and ready to start raising a family. Women in their 40s are still in good shape.Unless something is wrong with you, you will be ast this age also.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Simply put, +30s have:
1. stability
2. health insurance
3. stable LTR
4. money
5. an established career
6. maturity
Most young women don’t have that. And it is a fact that older women make better mothers. A study was done, although i cannot quote the source because I read that a few months ago and don’t remember where.
Also, you are very young. You will change a lot between 20 and 30. You will gain maturity and life experience.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
A woman in her early forties does not need a zimmer frame or help with her daily duties and therefore is more than capable or looking after and running after a child of 6-7 years old.
Most healthy women in their forties have loads of energy and have a lot more to offer a baby/child than a 15 year old does, like maturity and with maturity there comes a lot of other skills which are helpful in bringing up children.
Normally a woman who fell pregnant later in life would have carefully thought it out, the baby probably would have been planned and would be brought up in a loving and stable relationship with fincancial stability. Can a 15 year old offer all this?
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
People just ASSUME that when a teenager is prego it was an ACCIDENT, hence she foolishly slept around and got into a "mess", and it is assumed that since the pregnancy was an accident the baby was obvioulsy unplanned and therefore will wind up being resented by its mother later in life….
When an older woman is prego it is ASSUMED to be the result of a miracle after countless thousands of dollars spent on feritlity treatment!
But no matter the age of the mother, parenting requires energy and love and both of these can be found equally in 50 year olds as in 15 year olds….
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
I was 36 when I had my son, not by choice, but that is when I was suppose to have him, I tried when I was younger and it was not meant to be. I am more mature, more understanding and more patient than I would ever have been in my 20′s.
It is not an assumtion, it is just true. I thought I knew everything there was to know in my teens/twenties…I was not even close, I hate to admit it, but my mom was right.
I would have loved to have him in my late twenties, it just didnt happen that way.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
First things first, not ALL women WAIT that long to have a child. There are many factors that come into play such as maybe she doesn’t have the right partner or a stable relationship to have one, maybe she’s having fertility issues, or maybe she just wants to wait because she can’t financially support a child.
It is not the issue that they are too old to have a child, it is that they are older and wiser. A 40 year old women isn’t going to be unable to keep up with a child, they will be more successful. In most cases they are already well established in a career and financially.
Teenagers get chastised for having a child too early because their main focus is supposed to be school or college, which will help determine a stable and better paying career later on in life. Most teenagers are financially dependent on their parents who provide roof over their head, clothes to wear, and food on the table. If a teenager decides to betray the trust of their parent by getting pregnant, they are not very deserving of it. As soon as a teenage girl gets pregnant she should be treated like an adult because if she decided to have intercourse with a male and not think of the consequences first it is her problem. Self control is something most teens haven’t even developed yet and they will probably not fully get a grasp on it until they move out and are financially independent. They are simply not mature enough to have a child.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
kids change your life completely and when you are young you are not really ready for the change- you can adapt and then be ready yes but its better to wait
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Maturity has to count for something. You really couldn’t figure that out?
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Well, all the energy in the world won’t feed your kid when you’re young and uneducated. Add that to inexperience and lack of maturity, and most teenagers would not make the ideal parent.
When a woman is older, she does not lack energy. She is also generally more educated, and thus able to provide better for her child. She is more mature and her flaws are more tempered.
I waited until I was older to have children, and I am very glad to have done so. I would have never been able to handle the huge amount of stress as a young woman, much less a teenager! Believe me I have plenty of energy, and plan on having it at least until somewhere in my mid 70′s!
So, a teenager is damned more by her circumstance than by society. That’s just a fact of life. A baby isn’t just a cute bundle- they are a huge responsiblity that lasts decades. It’s nothing to take lightly!
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
I’ve got one thing to say…
In my life, growing up with cousins (i’ve got alot!) and friends etc, I can count about 11 that had children when they were teens, the youngest one was 14 when he became a dad for the first time and the oldest was almost 18 when she had her baby, and sadly one…just ONE of them was able to get & keep her job and provide for her baby AND without the baby’s dad around, she did it all on her own.
As for the rest of the other 10, even to this day, they either gave parental rights to their own parents, are living with their parents, are living off of welfare and the state, and go out clubbing til all hours of the night and leave the kids at home with sisters and parents, have a new boyfriend/girlfriend every 6 months because they can’t stay together with their baby’s mom or dad…
These are the reasons why I think teenage parenting is crap and whether a woman is 25, 35 or 45 is a way better idea then a crappy teenager giving birth to a baby.
They think it’s all roses and crap and then what happens? They never grow up, they want to be out all the time because having a baby didn’t "let" them experience being a kid or young adult. Then keep your dang pants on!
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
There is nothing WRONG in a teenager being pregnant… but to think practically, pregnancy and the following years where the child requires maximum care n attention from his/her mom would be the years where the teenager (or girl in very early 20s) would rather be doing college, enjoying life with friends, dating etc.etc….. than feeding and changing diapers of baby.. Also, she is not mature financially nor emotionally ,to take up the responsibility.. Being pregnant could be thrilling and exciting during the first few weeks..but having to follow all the restrictions during pregnancy, and to see all ur buddies enjoying life which u r not able to would finally make the girl see the baby as a Burden !! u hv been in ur teens..imagine urself minus most of the fun u hv had in ur teens!!!
For a lady in 30s…shes been in her teens and 20s….seen a bit of life, would mostly be independent financially…mature ….and ofcourse NOT less wotsoever in energy…what makes u think that way !!
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Raising a child isn’t about energy…… it’s about giving the child want it needs to live. Older parents are more mature, financially stable, patient, educated, and willing to deal with the responsibilites of raising a child. You’re still too young and uneducated to understand………….
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
My mother had my brother at 39… she is now 55, she is incredibly active and does everything with him.
The benefits far out weigh any negatives. At 35 or older a woman is generally established in a career, financially stable, more mature and more capable.
This is a stupid question. It’s OBVIOUSLY hugely different. A 15 or 16 year old is a child themselves and should not be raising a child. Their job choices are limited because of their age and it’s very difficult for them to get any kind of college or technical degree.
I’m so sick of people who want to make it out that teenage pregnancy is this great thing. It’s not and only someone very young and very ignorant would think it was… honestly.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
A teenager (unless we are talking 18 or 19) is not usually in a good position financially or emotionally to be bringing up kids. Kids shouldn’t be having kids.
A 35+ year old woman should still be perfectly fit and energetic to look after kids. I know plenty of women who are way above that age who run marathons and compete in body building competitions. They are super fit and then there are some very unfit teens out there who do no exericse, eat all kinds of junk and basically just lead very unhealthy lifestyles.
Women should wait until they are emotionally ready and financially stable before bringing kids into this world.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Um, that’s a load of crap about older mother’s not being able to "keep up" with their children. You sound younger than your 20 years – as you seem to think "old people" are ancient and unable to do anything.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Because teens are too young to be sexually active, I suppose. Still, my mom was a teenage mother, and she does not regret it.
25. August 2010 at 6:07 pm
Hey sweet lady, Really there is not wrong for either one of to have a babies at any age because you make that choice for yourself and really that your business. who cares what other people think because you are taking the responsbility of rasing that child and that your decision to make not no one esle. I say go for it! Hey guess what I am back with my man that in the federal pen, I am so glad that I am. Seven years is long time I am ready for many core years. Plase contact me at joycerasco@yahoo.com . I would like to call you sometime if that okay with you? I talk with you monday .Are you pregnant? Let me know . See you Monday Joyce