I met him online, We’ve been speaking for 1 month and so,and are both infatuated,we spend hours talking everyday, he lives in Asia.And since the first time i saw him i lost my breath.We have so much in common,the way we want to live,music,art,spirituality,being free spirited, and there is energy between us.We were feeling quite crazy in love. We planned on meeting soon. All i’ve said about me and what i feel is true .We do skype video conference, and he has seen me.But when we started speaking i didn’t tell him i have 2 sons,2 &4 yrs old, he’s 32 and i am 26.And as we kept on talking i never told him i guess because of securi didn’t want his interest to change, and didn’t think it will get this far,and he never asked. I finally told him the truth last night. He’s upset because i kept it from him, and said he would have been supportive.He said he was genuine with me and that me lying changes everything
If you were in his place how would you react ?
What can I do?
Is it Over?
I dig him
I wanted to tell him. but as time passed it become more difficult to do that. Is there something i can do so he does not see me as a lying bitch.
I am very level headed, in law school and lead a happy and balanced life with my boys, and the way this felt was supernatural. i am not proud of myself, and he did say last night that my personality, how i look and the chemistry we have is what he always wanted in someone. And that he’s upset i made him fall in love, then told him the truth. he says me denying my children is appalling. I didn’t mean to deceive him, how could i know things would get this far.
He even said before if when we meet the chemistry is the same that he wants me to marry him and relocate.
This is really crazy, what can i do now?
Help! i don’t want to lose him.
I didn’t lie to him, because the subject was never talked about. I guessed he assumed because of my age, attitude and the way i look that i didn’t have children. And the truth is i didn’t tell him because of security in the beginning, but then it was mainly because i knew it might change, and talking to him felt sooo good.
2 days ago, he sent me an email,and we talked because he was freaking out because of how he felt for me, and wanted to know if i was playing with him. I said i wasn’t . I was not!
I guess all i can do is wait… and hope things work out for the best.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
How do you even know he is who he says he is? I hope you don’t invite him over and put in danger your children . .
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
ONLINE DATING IS BAD AND DANGEROUS. and if he loved you for real he wouldnt care that you have two children even if you told him a little bit later.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
I’d probably be pretty upset. It’s called a lie of ommision. You purpously left that information out. I’d assume since you lied about the kids, you could be lying about a bunch of other stuff. This may take a lot of convincing on your part. You need to tell him that you kept meaning to tell him but the time was never right. Good luck.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
You’ve ONLY known him for ONE month.
Not only that but you have only met him online.
It’s kind of hard to "LOVE" someone you
HARDLY EVEN KNOW.
I would get over it.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
you didn’t lie to him, you just didn’t tell him, tell him now maybe it’s okay for him.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
It’s so not over.
He is upset, and it’s just a bump in your relationship.
If he’s in love with you as much as you love him, it’ll be fine.
Tell him how you really feel, and that you are so sorry and hope that he can forgive you.
good luck.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
that’s up to u to decide!!
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
it’s not over, just give him time. im sure he’ll understand why you did what you did.
dont give up, if he really likes you everything will work out
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
online relationships never work.
he could be cheating on you and youll never know it.
but you never know, it may not be, i dunno
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
If he loved you, that wouldn’t change anything. So if you doesn’t get over it, he just doesn’t want to be with someone that has kids and was never in love with you.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
He’s lying. Your lying didn’t change anything, the kids did, and he doesn’t want to admit it. If the kids didn’t matter, he wouldn’t have cared about your lying – Your reason was Just – you wanted to protect the way he felt about you. Very Plausible in the same way a cancer person wears a wig with their mate in order to be sure that they don’t think they’re ugly, and any and all mates in response kissed the bald heads of their cancerous counterparts. It would’ve been over from the start of your mentioning having kids, and now he’s rejected your baldhead. To me, someone who rejects someone just because they have a bald head isn’t worthy of love that individuals love to start. Forget him – the kids aren’t his thing. Now too bad for him, he’s lost you. You’ll find someone more understanding. Focus on anything but him for the next few days – even stay away from the internet if need be. Gradually he’ll be less relevant in your mind until he’s naught at all.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
well maybe he has somthing to hide 2 or maybe he thinks with 2 kids a ur age then ur kinda easy (im not saying u r) and he wonts more
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
from wat he said it looks like is over from the way i see it….sorry for you
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
well just explain how most men are and you didnt fully know him after just one month, you just couldnt let your gaurd down just tell him you are sorry but that is the way you feel, if he really loves you he will try to understand
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
it not over just appoligize and tell him why u hid it from him.. he;ll understand, and if he doesnt then that is not the guy for you
- srry bad spelling
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
Just ask him how he feels about children. if he likes children or better yet ask him about his mother what she thinks about single women with children. some mothers really dont want their babies marrying a woman with someone elses kids.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
If I were in his place, and truly loved you, I would understand your insecurity in this matter. True love forgives and overlooks.
You need to find a man closer to home.
The internet can be a very dangerous place for a woman. You just have to use good judgement!
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
You ought to have come out in the beginning you got two kids…. But, maybe there is still hope, kids are not a curse, just a reality…
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
He might just need time to cool off. If He truly loves your he will come around again. If he is not ready to deal with your baggage you must respect that also.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
i would NEVER go meet some one that i talk to ova the internet. u could get sexually harrased or something. dont fall in love with him cause u dont know what can happen
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
you didn’t lie unless you said you didn’t have kids…. not telling him is just omitting information. honestly, if this is true "internet love" then he’ll get over it… if not.. find a new chat buddy and move on. it’s no the end of the world.. you’ve never even met him for pete’s sake!!! not to mention.. he’s a boy.. yes i said it.. a boy!!! they don’t know how to handle when things take a detour!!!
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
Hmm…. well… he never asked so that means you never lied about anything. I would tell him how you feel and that you never lied, you just did not tell him the personal aspects of your life. He can either man up and deal with it or find someone else that he probally will not have the same connection with. I think if he does not man up he was never right for you to begin with.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
I think you did the best thing. If you know him inside and out, I’m pretty sure he’ll understand you. And if he doesn’t, then he’s not Mr.Right at all. I guess the best way to meet the right person is getting to know them personally
Don’t worry, i’m sure everything will be alright and I think you’ll meet a better person. Patience my dear, patience… 
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
it happened to me. only that he was lying about himself to me. when he told me….i was shocked..surprise. and definitely mad. we’ve shown each other by pictures, and his was always fake. yes, i was mad when i found out. but the thing is…i had every right. and so does the guy you’ve been talking about.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
If you guys how you say you are I’m pretty sure it’s not over and if he said he would have been supportive then I’m sure he will come around despite you kept something like this from him. I would say reaction is reasonable because if I meet someone who has kids and did not tell me I would feel like this person wasn’t honest with me since day one. Just talk to him and explain that you had security issues and that you meant to tell him but didn’t. I’m pretty sure he will come around.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
You were smart to keep your children a secret – there are predators out there that are looking for single women with children – if he is upset, he will get over it if he really cares about you! My children were grown and I never mentioned them until later in my relationship – and I ended up married to the wonderful man that I met on-line! Stick to your principles! And watch out for your kids, you are all they have to protect them – you were right! You told him AFTER you got to know him better. If he ends it now, it’s better than later! You are a good mom!
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
if he cant except ur two sons hes not worth it yea you kept it from him but you did tell him its not like you played it off like you didnt have children but family comes before people online
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
Tell him that you weren’t lying, but you were so interested in him that you wanted to talk about you and him. Tell him that you would like him to reconsider.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
i am not so sure anyone on line is a 100% honest i don’t think he will be as upset with you over not telling him as maybe just can’t handle the package then again he might not be telling all either there is always that chance and if he isn’t then he will understand and start worrying about his secrets and may react more gently because he knows that his turn will come later if he comes clean with you if the relationship continues. just wait and see what happens they is all you can do at this point. then be honest if it works out from here.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
I hate to tell you this but great relationships can’t be built on shaky grounds. In other words, a relationship without trust is doomed to come crashing down. You broke that trust. At this point, it’s entirely dependent upon whether or not he’s willing to forgive you.
If I were in those shoes, I would be forgiving if and only if that was the only lie…or failure of communication. If there was any other dishonesty, there would be no chance of trusting.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
hey hun, firstly, your probably going to get some negative comments to this one. alot of people on here do that when someone says they’ve been lying. but dont take any notice to it ok.
I think since its only been a month or so, you had every right to keep a few things to yourself. particularly your children. internet "relationships" can sometimes be dangerous so not telling him you have children is actually a protection just incase something was to go wrong. he should understand that.
if he is truly genuine tho, then you should just explain yourself as best as possible. from now on, do not keep the truth. but still be careful.
in a month, it is very hard to get to know someone, so you will also be learning knew things about him also. i commend you on telling the truth, it can be hard.
if i were in his place(and a male!)i would understand completely. if i did not want kids then i would be honest and end it before it gets too far. but if kids dont really bother me, then it shouldnt be a problem! just stick to the truth and it should be ok
best of luck with everything.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
You’re not in love, you don’t even know one another, and even if you’d been dating face-to-face 1 month isn’t long enough for love to develop. You are infatuated with someone you met online and who you’ve conjured in your head to have certain qualities (qualities you can’t really determine until you’ve met). The person you think you love, probably doesn’t exist (and the same goes for him)…they are fantasies you two have made up, using the little bit you know about one another (or shared with one another, which may or may not be true).
He’s got a right to be upset that you witheld information from him, if you two are actually planning to meet someday. Your behavior shows lack of trust, which is further proof love hasn’t developed…
Keep talking and meet someday, if you desire. I’ve known people online that seemed perfect matches for me, but when we met offline we didn’t click at all. Don’t claim love until you get to know him in real life..until then, you two are still strangers.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
First…online relationships do work. My cousin met her husband online and they are sooo in love and have a baby girl. I know people who have had online relationships work.
I think everything will be alright. especially since he said he would have been ok with it…just make sure you don’t lie again.
Next time you meet someone, tell them all of that in the beginning because you want someone to like ALL of you (and your children are included). You wouldn’t want to be with someone who won’t accept your children from the beginning anyway. Hope it works out! Good Lucke~
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
"Infatuation" is NOT love. Love is a daily decision. You’re willing to base your whole life on a feeling? Please stop while you’re ahead.
You were probably doing yourself a favor by losing his "trust" He may not be what he appears to be, and for all you know he could be a serial killer.
Are you married? You haven’t said anything about your children’s FATHER. Where does HE fit into this picture?
If you’re single and actually wanting to start dating, go out in public and meet someone in person. That whole "online dating scene" is so non-factual and seriously lacking in real effort. Please join a church or golf club. You will have much better luck.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
One is yes u should have been honest… but we all do stupid things I understand why u did it but it wasn’t right if u like this guy. But If he truly digs u he will get over it and move on and won’t be able to wait to talk to u again.. Just give him sometime apologize be sweet as u can be and understanding on his feelings. I feel if u give him some time that it isn’t over if he really loves you and all u having childern shouldn’t change how he feels about u. The lie might but not enough to keep him from u if he so digs u as u do him unless he doesn’t want childern but if thats the case hun who needs him I know u like him but ur childern will and should come first no man could get in the way of my childern I would kill for them. I say if he truly would have been supportive in the beginning then he’ll come around. IF not well ur better off not that it’ll hurt any less and for that I’m sorry I know it has to be a major downer but look at it like this ur better than him if he can’t move on and try to make this work and at least u came clean before he came down in person.. Now the marraige thing and relocating thats all on u but make sure u honestly know him before u let this man around ur childern being how soon this all is but only u and he truly now how u feel not anyone else
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
He should understand why you kept it from him. You dont even REALLY know him, you met over the internet! He shouldnt get mad at you for not telling him something like that when you havent even met the guy. If he really did start 2 care for you it shouldnt be over. PLus you didnt lie to him because from what you say, the topic was never brought up.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
/ Did you "lie" to him? I don’t think you did anything wrong.
If all you state is true, you didn’t lie. You kept that information from him until you both knew eachother a little better, but you didn’t lie about it, did you?
It sounds like you "omitted" that information until you felt secure enough to tell him. It isn’t like you waited years to tell him.
Anyway if he is the right guy, he’ll accept that you didn’t want to rush things and risk distancing him before he got to know you.
If he can’t accept this, then he wasn’t the right guy for you and it wouldn’t have worked out in the long run anyway.
You are human, and went about this normally. If he is the right guy, he’ll understand.
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
First of all, you DIDN’T LIE, unless he asked you if you have children !! Also, a month is NOT long enough to have more than the "hots" for someone… You have two wonderful children who need YOU… You need to let him know that you needed to be sure before you allowed him into the lives of your children… You had to be sure that they would be protected because of their ages from a person who would become a part of their Mom’s life that may not stay… If he really cares about you in the way you think he does, he will understand, if not, then he was looking for something other than what you were willing to give.. Trust your heart, you protected your children for a reason… You didn’t tell him for a reason, only you can say what that reason is….
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
Well, I don’t think you did anything wrong! When we meet someone, It is OK not to open up to strangers, If you told him after a month period, "not after 6months of relationship", I don’t think he should take it so strongly. If he says, He cares and Loves you than, It makes no differences if you have kids or don’t. Stop feeling guilty for nothing! If he truly cares he will turn around and be back in your arms! If he don’t, that means he never cared or respected you as a person. Don’t let a men decide your path in life..Stand up for yourself and i am sure you’ll find someone, who will accept you as you..Love your children as his..Not be ignorant and would help you taking responsibility of your kids, with love and Honor! So, Don’t worry!
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
You have been talking with him for a month…
YOU
ARE
NOT
IN
LOVE
WITH
HIM!
99.99% of Online Relationships DO NOT WORK…
Hell, he might be a 60 year old just using you for cybersex.
PLEASE don’t belive you are in love…
15. December 2010 at 8:30 pm
why would he be upset about u telling him that you have children and your age i mean if he really carred about you he would understand thyat you werent comfertable yet to tell him that
if i was him i wud just listen to wat u had to say and understand why you have kept it from me
you should probably tell him how you feel and tell him that you were waiting for the right moment to tell him the truth cos you were worried about his reaction
its not over yet, its not over untill you stop loving him im sure deep down he trulu loves you and soon enough you too will be happy….
…..good luck…hope it all turns out fine…xxx..